Friday, June 1, 2012

"I'm turning into someone that I never thought I'd have to be again."


I don't like admitting, showing
The feelings I have inside, the darkness, loneliness that I feel inside.
It's new, it's beautiful, it's a great adventure.
And the more I can repeat this, the more I can try to convince myself.
Convince myself that I am fine, that I am happy. That I don't need anyone.
Because like they said it many times, I am a party on my own.
I don't need anyone, anything. Just me.

Just me, my free crazy mind and beer.
That's what they think, that's what they see.
So why change, change their mind.
Why tell them that behind my smiles there's loneliness.
That behind my screams there are tears.
That behind every pictures, every facebook status, every tweet there is a person that is hurt inside.
I try to hide that I am alone, that I am not a fine on my own.
I am not the life of the party, I party to forget that I have nothing really live for, nothing real.
I decided to make my life as superficial as it can be,
Superficial because real life is too complicated.
Too hurtful
Too lonely
Too hard
Too r.e.a.l
And the truth is I can't handle it, I can't even face it.
I don't know who I am, what I am or what to do.
But for you I will always but on a mask.
Put on a smile. You will look at me but not really see who I am.
Because if I keep repeating that I am fine.
If you keep on seeing that I am fine.
For a second, I become the person that I pretend to be.
For a few second, I become the person that you see.
And for those seconds everything is fine and I feel, for a few seconds, that I can be truly happy.


So you're tired of living and you feel like you might give in
well don't it's not your time ...
 don't take your life because it's all that you've got 
- Fuck buying flowers for graves. -


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