We are in 2013. I can’t really believe it.
I will probably spend another couple of months
writing 2012 on my papers.
My brain is still kind of surprise that we’re
already in 2013.
We’re in 2013, this is a strange feeling...
No this feeling has nothing to do with the fact
that we survived the so called “Mayan end of the world”.
It’s funny, I was thinking about how we were
supposed to have robots, flying cars and all wear aluminum jump-suits (thank
God the last one hasn’t happened).
Time went by so fast, too fast even for
science… (even though I am still debating on if Dubstep is or is not code
messages from aliens disguised as music by the CIA ^^ )
I also found myself reminiscing about what kind
of person I use to think I would be when I would reach 20 years old.
I mean at 20 most people have had quite a number
of experiences (even if they still have so much more to experience).
The good, the bad, the unforgettable and those we wished we could forget.
Twenty years in this world and I have
experienced such a little part of life.
And somehow I feel like I have not evolved, well
not the way I intended to.
But if science couldn’t reach our futuristic
expectations how could I reach my unrealistic ones.
I had, for some reasons, believed that I would
have been not someone else, obviously somewhere else and just different.
A different place, a different direction, same
passions but different expectations.
In a few words, this is how I would describe
life now.
A first year student for the second time,
living in nowhere-land Germany, struggling with numbers, struggling to stay
awake in class (sometimes), inexistent love life and great friends; just living
the life students live.
But somehow I feel like something is not right.
Something is missing.
I feel like at some point of my evolution
someone stepped on my foot and I became a fish instead of being able to run
freely in the savannah.
Obviously I could wait a few years, evolve into
an amphibian and finally become the queen of the jungle.
But even though right now I feel good inside I
can’t help but think that I am swimming backwards, or in circle, yes like an amnesic fish.
Not swimming more like cruising, purposely or
not on purpose at all but taking the long way to the next step of evolution.
Which makes me, nowhere close to who I
wished/thought I would be in 2013.
Not that I am unhappy now, but it just make me
feel like planning things so long in the future is a little pointless.
But at the same time I am not on purpose
purposely sabotaging myself.
So for 2013 I have one plan, this is not a
resolution just a way of life, a philosophy.
I've tried Hakuna Matata, it works kinds of well but it is hard to control.
For this year I know what I have to do “Just
keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do we
swiiiiiim”. (cf. Finding Nemo)
I guess staying positive and trying our best reach our goals (dreams) is the only way forward.
I mean we wouldn't be alive if one day a little fish didn't tell himself that he could walk on earth and actually push himself until somewhere down the line amphibians appeared ! :)
