There's always a time in your life when
you get so upset and kind of tired that for a few seconds you just
want to be numb.
For a few minutes you just want, no you
need to be numb. To feel nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Think about something sweet, something
you love, something you hate, hear an emo song and feel nothing,
nada, niet. Just hear those words that mean nothing but mean so much
because those feelings you felt them once, long ago. But you don't
know if you want to feel them again.
You're not sure if you even can.
Because you felt so much, at some point, for so many people, for
someone. But now it's all gone.
They're all gone.
And you feel empty, you feel hurt, and
you just want to feel numb, to feel nothing.
Because maybe feeling nothing for just
a few hours can make you feel better.
And I'll admit that sometime I hope, I
dream that it will all end.
That at some point they will all be
back.
That I will feel all that I've once
felt for some many people, for someone.
That one day I won't even dare thinking
about being numb because I will feel so much that nothing in the
world could stop me from feeling this amazing.
But suddenly, I wake up. Suddenly I am
back in my chair, back my cold chair, back in my cold chair in my
lonely room.
And suddenly all this happiness seems
so far, too beautiful, too unreal. Like from another world, like from
a place I will never visit again.
And suddenly the pain is back, so real,
so strong. And I don't want to think about it anymore.
All I want is to drink the sweet poison
that is alcohol and forget where I am, forget who I am and just let
the darkness that surrounds us swallow me entirely.
Because I simply don't want to feel
anymore.
Because for a few minutes you just
want, no you just need to be numb. To feel nothing. Absolutely
nothing.
Ballerina by Leona Naess > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cje58i9-DfE
