~ Where I stood - Missy Higgins ~

It's better to say too much than to never say what you have to say again...

I don't know it's really true, because some things are meant to say but not meant to hear. Maybe there is a reason why I never said why I had to say, a reason why I never heard what I need to hear. Maybe even those two things are related. How can we know for sure that what we say will be accepted, we always talk about bravery, accepting how we feel, but maybe the brave thing is just the capacity not to accept the way we feel. You know, something like “a strong woman is a woman who can smile in the morning after crying the night before”.

It's true sometimes I do get jealous of the fact that someone else made you happier than me, and I do think sometimes that this someone could be me... But than I think again and realize that if it was really meant to be maybe we would still be good friends now and my heart would be yours. You know something like “if you love me let me know if you don't let me go” ; I guess your choice is made. Now we barely talk to each other anymore and sometime I feel like me and the lady at the pizzaria have longer conversation than us. I still creep on your facebook page, I feel weird when I see this someone else write on your wall, I know what's happening, well I think I do. And I think again that could have been me, the smile on your face makes me think sometimes that it could still be possible but then I see the smile on the other person's face and I realize that your smile was never really mine. Remember at some point I thought you were mine and I changed a little bit, not to impress you but because you were just making me feel different better, worst I don't know but I was feeling good...i think. Now that I think about it I was a little weird and I should have told you not that it would have changed anything. I always knew that you'd leave me anyway.

I guess that some people never learn. I must be part of those people that just need to run away when it gets to real, only to realize that what they wanted. It's funny how people always say “girls never know what they want and boys never know what they have” ; I'm wondering which one am I. The feminine side of a man Animus, the masculine side of a woman Anima. Who cares...

- This is not what I am like, this is not what I do, I will never fall for you. I guess my friend was right, the best way to never have your heart broken is to never give your heart away. Can I please say >> MISSION ACCOMPLISHED -